Well, this is it, I am writing my second blog post based on my first blog – which was actually a letter I wrote to my husband the day before about my state of mind, among other things. Little did I know that the next day I would pick a name and start a blog. I have serious reservations about making this last. Too often I start something with good intentions and then quit. I guess we will see.
Yesterday, the stars aligned, and the blog came together sort of subconsciously for me. I was in a fragile, fuzzy state of mind but was in full control. The process flowed easily with a little back and forth — the idea, the name, the icon, the website content. It felt purposeful. I was feeling creative.
I almost called the blog Get It Out or Die, I concluded that die was too a harsh of a word for me, and I really don’t like it. So, my second choice was Life Sucks, Own it. I feel good about its purpose. I do have a few items that are needling me, the name being one of them. The word “sucks” makes me cringe. It makes me feel uncomfortable when I say it and makes me think ask, “Do I really believe that?” That’s why it’s perfect for me and the right metaphor for this blog. Being uncomfortable is what makes us better. Doing what’s uncomfortable is the first step towards change and doing something you really desire. Some of the things I plan to write would be uncomfortable to those I care about, that is why I decided to keep names out of it and publish anonymously. So, I will own the name “Life Sucks” – at least for now… let’s give it a chance to redeem itself.
This blog will be my homage to my life experiences and perspective on things. If making me happy is going to take being creative, heard, accepted, and understood. Well then, I am going to be knocking out 1, maybe 2-out-of-4 with this site!
Being Creative – I think I am creative in lots of way. I am not great at anything really. I used to be okay at art, I loved acting, producing events and enjoy creative thinking. I suppose some of that is why I am pretty good in the business world and have a successful career as a marketer.
I never dreamed growing up I would be a writer. I hate reading, I can’t spell, and my grammar is horrible. Pretty funny that I ended up where I am.
Being Heard – Like I said before, I don’t know if anyone will read these posts. Why would you care about what I have to say? To me, putting my thoughts out there for the possibility for people to read is like being heard. I might get greedy and start to push it out there but for now, it checks a box that I need.
I would say I don’t care if people read my posts or not, but that would be lying. I do care and in hopes that my experiences can help someone else. I want to help addicts recover, I want to help those that want to commit suicide change their mind, want to help couples on the verge of a breakup communicate. I want to help people find true happiness – so I am going to just put it out there, in hopes of one day, being accepted and understood.
Being Accepted – This one is a deep and twisted. It is an area I have been grappling with all my life on so many levels. I am sure you will read many a post about acceptance, so I will leave it at that.
Being Understood – This one mostly lies with my family. I want my sons and husband to really know who I am as a person, not a mom or wife. Not the stressed-out crazy women who yells and screams to try and get their attention and do what I say. I want to share with them what I am passionate about, I want them to feel it too.
For now, I will own it. I will do my best to strive for those areas listed above to fulfill by blog. I plan to walk away from every post feeling how Brian Johnson “The Brain” did at the end of Breakfast Club rereading his paper for the last time at his desk alone.
